Comments on: Self Discovery Through Type Testing http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/ May the star within us shine for all to enjoy Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:55:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.4 By: Apple Stars » Blog Archive » Personality Typing http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-8042 Apple Stars » Blog Archive » Personality Typing Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:43:08 +0000 http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-8042 [...] done this before and I have a feeling I’m different every time. (Yep, see this post.)  What’s interesting as I answered the questions is that I could recognize how my children [...] […] done this before and I have a feeling I’m different every time. (Yep, see this post.)  What’s interesting as I answered the questions is that I could recognize how my children […]

]]> By: applestars http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-174 applestars Fri, 18 Aug 2006 02:26:08 +0000 http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-174 I think this was a full circle moment for me in understanding myself. This *former* friend I mentioned and I had a falling out last year, mutually and respectfully, but it left me wondering how the confusion occurred. We both go to the same church; her daughter and my oldest son were both unschooled from the beginning; and they started dating. We moms were really good friends and met often to discuss unschooling and parenting and the strong personalities of our children (her only and my oldest) and I thought we had so much in common, although I knew she was more emotional/sensitive than I, but I thought we mutually appreciated our differences. Things went fairly well the first six months of our children dating. Then some miscommunications began to occur and then the masks came off. Both my friend and her daughter felt I had a controlling personality. Admittedly, with my friendships, I think I retain my more aggressive personality traits: extraverted discussions, like JoVE mentions, where I put everything out on the table in order to figure things out, no holds bar. My oldest was confused by their proclamations because he never saw me as controlling. He recognized my proneness to speaking whatever was on my mind, without censorship, but he also knows it's how I think things through and to only listen to half of what I say . . . LOL! He tried to explain to them how he felt he had been raised with a lot of freedom and respect, as indicated on the mothering style in this post, but they tried to convince him that I had him duped. My friend tried to "prove" my controlling nature through this type testing! I became confused because I understood my "business side" did exist, but I knew through experience and my children's interactions and my heart that it wasn't happening at home (hey, I had already self analyzed all of that . . . LOL!). So, I guess this is a personal validation of what I knew in my heart, and not to put that much credence on these tests, like you all mentioned (and which *I* hadn't), but this person had, and I had tried to help her understand I am way more than a particular type test can show. I guess I needed this validation for my heart and vindication for my mind because of my inner analytic who likes to sift through all the information. Plus, I'm the type of person who always wants to ask, "Is it true?" in order to stay self aware. Outside of all of this personal need for this realization, it does make sense that our working personality would differ from our personal home living one. On the other hand, I have to contemplate if it is a good thing to use my working personality with my friendships versus my personal home living one. On the other hand, I have only felt those feelings toward my family members. My friendships I treasure for my ability to have deep analytical conversations. I have one friend currently who has my same working personality type, and the same desire to have my mothering personality on the flip side. Maybe what I need to think about is why I don't know how to have the familial relationship with a friend. Or maybe it's that I don't need that . . . Hhhmmm . . . more to contemplate. Thanks for the insights so far, everyone! -Cindy I think this was a full circle moment for me in understanding myself. This *former* friend I mentioned and I had a falling out last year, mutually and respectfully, but it left me wondering how the confusion occurred. We both go to the same church; her daughter and my oldest son were both unschooled from the beginning; and they started dating. We moms were really good friends and met often to discuss unschooling and parenting and the strong personalities of our children (her only and my oldest) and I thought we had so much in common, although I knew she was more emotional/sensitive than I, but I thought we mutually appreciated our differences. Things went fairly well the first six months of our children dating. Then some miscommunications began to occur and then the masks came off. Both my friend and her daughter felt I had a controlling personality. Admittedly, with my friendships, I think I retain my more aggressive personality traits: extraverted discussions, like JoVE mentions, where I put everything out on the table in order to figure things out, no holds bar.

My oldest was confused by their proclamations because he never saw me as controlling. He recognized my proneness to speaking whatever was on my mind, without censorship, but he also knows it’s how I think things through and to only listen to half of what I say . . . LOL! He tried to explain to them how he felt he had been raised with a lot of freedom and respect, as indicated on the mothering style in this post, but they tried to convince him that I had him duped.

My friend tried to “prove” my controlling nature through this type testing! I became confused because I understood my “business side” did exist, but I knew through experience and my children’s interactions and my heart that it wasn’t happening at home (hey, I had already self analyzed all of that . . . LOL!). So, I guess this is a personal validation of what I knew in my heart, and not to put that much credence on these tests, like you all mentioned (and which *I* hadn’t), but this person had, and I had tried to help her understand I am way more than a particular type test can show. I guess I needed this validation for my heart and vindication for my mind because of my inner analytic who likes to sift through all the information. Plus, I’m the type of person who always wants to ask, “Is it true?” in order to stay self aware.

Outside of all of this personal need for this realization, it does make sense that our working personality would differ from our personal home living one. On the other hand, I have to contemplate if it is a good thing to use my working personality with my friendships versus my personal home living one. On the other hand, I have only felt those feelings toward my family members. My friendships I treasure for my ability to have deep analytical conversations. I have one friend currently who has my same working personality type, and the same desire to have my mothering personality on the flip side. Maybe what I need to think about is why I don’t know how to have the familial relationship with a friend. Or maybe it’s that I don’t need that . . .

Hhhmmm . . . more to contemplate. Thanks for the insights so far, everyone!
-Cindy

]]> By: Stephanie http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-173 Stephanie Fri, 18 Aug 2006 02:11:41 +0000 http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-173 Interesting to think about...I am an ENFP...I never took a test while working, but I am pretty sure it would have been close to the same. I also think that my parenting is very tied to my personality type. I don't see my personality type changing for my kids (other then I find that I increasingly enjoy my alone time!). But I do see my personality type playing into how I relate to my children and how I go about looking at what they need. Relationships are VERY important to me. I am very much a feeling/intuitive type of person. I am also very good at seeing things from other people's point of view and finding value in that pov. In that sense I am very willing to stretch myself and look for better ways of doing things that meet my children's needs, even if they are different from what I need. I do think that this is why unschooling appeals to me...it is very much about relationships and honoring each others individuality. About helping a child find the path that makes sense to them and learn in a way that makes sense for them. I'll have to think about this a bit more....interesting.... Interesting to think about…I am an ENFP…I never took a test while working, but I am pretty sure it would have been close to the same. I also think that my parenting is very tied to my personality type. I don’t see my personality type changing for my kids (other then I find that I increasingly enjoy my alone time!). But I do see my personality type playing into how I relate to my children and how I go about looking at what they need.

Relationships are VERY important to me. I am very much a feeling/intuitive type of person. I am also very good at seeing things from other people’s point of view and finding value in that pov. In that sense I am very willing to stretch myself and look for better ways of doing things that meet my children’s needs, even if they are different from what I need.

I do think that this is why unschooling appeals to me…it is very much about relationships and honoring each others individuality. About helping a child find the path that makes sense to them and learn in a way that makes sense for them.

I’ll have to think about this a bit more….interesting….

]]> By: JoVE http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-172 JoVE Thu, 17 Aug 2006 23:34:22 +0000 http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-172 I found your discussion very thought provoking. And I agree wholeheartedly with the last comment about tests making good springboards for discussion and reflection. It is the discussion that brings out the real learning and development, in my view, and sometimes putting it all down on paper or telling someone is what is needed to get the ideas clear in your mind. I did a similar test about decision making style and came out very extrovert. You might too. An extrovert decision maker is one who considers the options by talking them over (versus and introvert who goes away and thinks about it and then only tells others when a decision has been made). So there are lots of ways of looking at what those personality characteristics are about. I found your discussion very thought provoking. And I agree wholeheartedly with the last comment about tests making good springboards for discussion and reflection. It is the discussion that brings out the real learning and development, in my view, and sometimes putting it all down on paper or telling someone is what is needed to get the ideas clear in your mind. I did a similar test about decision making style and came out very extrovert. You might too. An extrovert decision maker is one who considers the options by talking them over (versus and introvert who goes away and thinks about it and then only tells others when a decision has been made). So there are lots of ways of looking at what those personality characteristics are about.

]]> By: momof3feistykids http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-171 momof3feistykids Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:55:55 +0000 http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-171 I agree with Ron. I think one's "mothering" personality and the personality that deals with the outside world evolved at very different points in one's life, adapting to very different needs. It would be surprising if these two parts of ourselves were mirror images of one another. Does this make sense? By the way, I took the Myers Briggs at several different points in my early adulthood, and came out two different ways. I was evolving. Plus tests are just tools, there's nothing sacred about their results. They do make good springboards for discussion and reflection, which is how you're using them. :-) I agree with Ron. I think one’s “mothering” personality and the personality that deals with the outside world evolved at very different points in one’s life, adapting to very different needs. It would be surprising if these two parts of ourselves were mirror images of one another. Does this make sense?

By the way, I took the Myers Briggs at several different points in my early adulthood, and came out two different ways. I was evolving. Plus tests are just tools, there’s nothing sacred about their results. They do make good springboards for discussion and reflection, which is how you’re using them. :-)

]]> By: Ron http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-170 Ron Thu, 17 Aug 2006 21:34:54 +0000 http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/2006/08/17/self-discovery-through-type-testing/#comment-170 Yes, I do. I don't think it is at all unusual that someone's work personality is widely different from his or her family one. Our involvement is very different from one to the other. Yes, I do. I don’t think it is at all unusual that someone’s work personality is widely different from his or her family one. Our involvement is very different from one to the other.

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